Find someone for them to talk to that has also lost a child. This is where my friend Ashlee comes in. Ashlee lost her son almost exactly a year before we lost our son. Having her tell me that it would get better, that eventually the good days would out number the bad was so important. I clung to those words like a lifeline. It was hard to believe, but I trusted her. I really only wanted to get comfort from someone who knew. It’s hard not to think that-- no one else could possibly understand what it feels like to lose a child. Other people’s comfort didn’t mean as much to me. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t offer it, you NEED to, but just know that it’s really, really helpful to have someone there that understands exactly what you are going through, it just helps.
Don’t forget about DAD. Men and women grieve differently, but that doesn’t mean that the dad isn’t hurting just as much as the mom. He will need just as much love and support as the mom does. So please don’t forget him, it’s hard to see your husband hurting and know that because of my own grief that people often overlook his.
Allow them to Serve Obviously they won’t be able to do this at first, but let them do things that serve others. I started with my own children, instead of lying in bed all day and crying my face off like I wanted too, I made myself get up and serve my family. If they are ever going to find themselves again they need to lose themselves in service to others. I know to some people this will sound counter intuitive and you would want to tell them to take care of themselves first. But really they need to do both. So if they volunteer to do something, let them.
Pray for them, they are going to need it for a long, long time.
Don’t talk about them, talk to them! They’ll never know you care, if you don’t tell them. Don’t just ask their best friend or mom how they’re doing ask them.